When we argue he does most of the talking he says coz he is the male what he says goes. That is because alcohol comes first and when he is drinking, well, he can’t perform..rather than not drink or put aside a date night, just once a week, he says I am making a big deal out of nothing. Hi, I've been separated for a year. He may be going through something that compelled him to make a major life change with no clear plan of where he was going next. He lets the relationship coast along assuming he doesn’t have to do much, but there’s no real impetus for him to try to fix things. You are sure that something is wrong, but whenever you ask him, he says that nothing is wrong. As I read her words, I empathized with My husband has had a relationship with someone and always says he would stop talking to her and he doesn’t. I’ve become some crazy chick that complains bc he doesn’t want me. But I think my husband has anger and inferiority problems but he doesn\'t want to admit and get help. His job is done when he gets home though, mine is 24/7 … He doesn\'t approve of any idea or suggestion coming from me saying I\'m controlling him, and do not make him feel like a man. He doesn’t want to take that responsibility and prefers the easy route of slowly allowing your marriage to fail. I'm going to be blunt here because I believe you need a wake-up call. He says he talked to me many times before so why would I change now? He started his tricks just 3 months after our marriage. By that time I am disturbed enough and am not feeling quite alright and then he says now what and calls me mentally unstable. This is not the time to fall apart. They complain that their husband is arrogant and inconsiderate. Not only do I feel unloved, I feel like being faithful to my marriage means I with never be loved. He gets angry about anything, no matter how small it is. He makes me cry just to make me cry, and he doesn’t filter anything he says but wants me to forget about it asap….and I do to keep the peace in front of my kids. It is not easy living with a husband who seldom says a kind word. But I don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t … He has no friends and has alienated himself from everyone. My husband recently told me he definitively doesn’t want children. 21. My husband recently told me he wants to separate and he needs time to himself, but doesn’t want a divorce. If I’m honest my heart is quite broken. Silly me, I’d always thought he’d eventually change his mind. I am experience the exact same thing. Just because your husband wants a divorce, it doesn’t mean you stop taking care of yourself. I sneakily used to smoke till he caught me and that's why I'm not allowed money but he says its for my health that's the reason he doesn't let me out of his sight because he's looking after me. ... the men will feel more attraction and want to stay. Sample this: Shirley serves dinner to her husband Rafael and tells him, in an assertive voice, to have it. He says he doesn't need anyone. Almost every man would agree that cheating is wrong. Either way, trust that when he says he is done, he … But he refuses to do so, he says I know he is mad, so leave him alone, well this time I’ve done that, when he didn’t speak to me Monday night, and he wouldn’t even look my way or be in the same room at the same time as I, I thought he asked to leave him be during this times, so give it to him, so yes, I left him alone, stayed away and have not attempted to speak to him. [Read: 25 signs he really loves you even if he doesn’t say it out loud] Even the best imposters can’t disguise when they are in love with a woman. He tries to turn your kids against you. He's just not here for me or the kids. I knew he’d been leaning that way over the past few years so we’ve been waiting. You take him to counseling and you change, but he doesn't. Your intuition tells you that something is up. I am living at a shabby place, but I can afford it with my min. wage job…and I have asked him to leave, I have sent him on his way, but he keeps coming back, because he has no where to go. He's told me that he can't see us ever getting back together, but doesn't want a divorce yet and wants to wait the full two years I’m not the prettiest he’s been with. It doesn’t seem fair, and somedays, it might not even feel worth it. You have noticed that something doesn’t feel right between you and your husband. he hides every details of his life. Now since then 5 years ago I don't have my own money or debit cards, he doesn't allow me to take pain relief for my arthritis as he says I'm a druggie! I get hurt bc he doesn’t touch me, and he doesn’t touch me bc of the way I react to him not touching me. My husband says he works so much harder and longer hours because he does physical labor, do he does not like to pitch in and will go to bed at 8 or 9 pm and leave me to take care of the baby. If I bring it up, he just walks away, or disagrees (and walks away), or says “you’re right” (and walks away and doesn’t change). I don’t want to lose him. I have gotten to the point that I don't beleive what my husband says.He makes statements like 'I promise you this garage will be cleand up before you come home'. When he says he doesn’t know what he wants, he is actually telling you he knows what he doesn’t want.What he doesn’t want is the relationship you want. I have told him let’s separate and he gets mad but he also doesn’t want to work things out. He’s staying with some friends and sometimes I think he’s happier apart. I want a divorce but he doesn’t. My biggest question is why are you still with this pathetic, lying manipulator of a man? You show respect and he doesn't. When men stop working on change , it is not usually because they have become okay with things as they are, but because they have no more hope. Yeah, my husband does absolutely none of these things. I don’t have any family to move out myself and he says he would leave but he doesn’t. He yells and doesn\'t talk respectfully. She reminds him once more; he says “yes dear, I’ll” but doesn’t budge from the couch because he wanted to teach her a lesson for her ‘disrespectable’ tone. And now that I know and has confronted him with the facts, he is threatening me. I’ve always looked forward to being a parent. my husband is not loving me anymore but he pretends that he loves me. If he doesn’t, ... What To Do When Your Husband Says He Doesn’t Know What He Wants In Terms Of Your Marriage; My Husband Wants To Separate To “Find Himself.” I believe in the covenant of marriage but sometimes it's really hard to live with someone who is like this. Let me repeat, being a godly wife to an ungodly husband is hard work. If he doesn’t encourage you to set and pursue your goals, if he doesn’t support your wildest hopes and dreams for your life, it’s a sign he doesn’t love you. When I come home and It's not finished, he alway has an excuse why it's not done. He's not abusive or anything. He says I accuse him too much, but I’ve had evidence several times. If your husband says he wants space to figure what he wants, you will need to take action soon. All the broken promises, the raging temper, the threats. It's not the fact that it is not finished, it's the fact that he made the promise.I have learned not to trust whay he says. The women usually find, to their dismay, that the men enjoy the changes that the women make, ... That is why your changing those things he doesn’t like about you won’t make a dent in his decisions. If your boyfriend or husband doesn’t want you to succeed or move forward in your life, then he… If he wanted me he would have me. We tried briefly to sort things out a few months ago, but my husband put a stop to it after a few weeks saying it's not going to work. Over time your behavior may win over your husband as 1 Peter 3:2 suggests. How can I make sure that he does? I feel like it’s a vicious cycle. Your husband is moving out because he says he needs space to think. I’m lost because we have a son and another child on … But I promise it is! He says, ‘yes’, but feels Shirley’s tone to be disrespectful. You accept and live with the promise you made." A Reader Writes… I love him and I know for a fact that he loves me too. But I kept on believing. He says he does, yet does not act like it. Your husband doesn’t seem like the person you married any more – he is less present, and he is acting strangely. I also feel my husband doesn’t understand me he is all about not giving me a chance in expressing myself. You are deserving of love. You’re giving your husband the benefit of the doubt and trying to have faith that he will work hard to change. He does not want to divorce. A wife writes on Facebook about her husband, who is a minister, " You pray and God doesn't change him. He will be extremely rude the whole day and then in the evening he’ll act as if nothing has happened. Let’s take out some of the confusion. I often hear from women who tell me their husband is mean spirited. Matters of the heart can be further complicated if your spouse is also selfish and pretentious. he watches tv or just keep stuck to his mobile phone and i feel he is cheating on me because one number with no name on it and he gets lots of sms to which he has password blocked it and he talks on phone for more that 2hours daily. He says he still doesn’t know what he wants or what he has decided about the separation so I’m trying not to push. But even if it doesn’t, you can stand confidently in God’s presence and say, “I did my part. I miss him so much. Men often pull this stunt and use this line when it is time for a … This is your chance to be your best self – not for him, but for you. He says I should do everything as he tells me and when I say I have my own mind he says I create problems in everything. thing is i can’t live without him and he keeps saying it’s for the best but he doesn’t know i wasn’t unhappy. Sure, if he says no, you have your answer. I try to make him understand me to the point that I’m in tears and it … Most men say they wouldn’t have an affair. Your boyfriend or husband doesn’t care about your dreams. All these years I forgave, trusted, hoped that things would change. Just because your husband or boyfriend says he believes in a monogamous relationship that doesn’t involve him cheating on you, it doesn’t mean you can trust him. And when he sees you back in your old glory, it might make him reconsider his decision. I’ve talked to him openly about how I felt and what he did and it goes well… until a couple weeks later when it is all my fault again. He continues to threaten divorce when he doesn’t get what he wants from me and then a few days later acts like it never happened. This doesn’t say all men are this way it says the evasive husband. But, if he says, yes, decide for yourself if you believe it or not, and for what reason you make the decision. He told me that a friend was telling him that if were unhappy he should leave me to find true love if he truly wants me to be happy. 6. He is afraid if he initiates something, he won’t be able to finish it, so therefore, he doesn’t try. Not sure if you’re married sir, but if it rattles something then perhaps taking the point of view from the woman’s stance might shift from your point to why a woman is acting the way she is.